#bruce idea ig

[amajorartattack]

Do y'all think Bruce tells those like shitty dad jokes? And like all of his kids cringe whenever he does, cuz like the thought's now in my brain and I think it's a fucking hilarious idea.

If there ever shows up a drawing of this on my page, you'll know why.

[abisalli]

bring your kid to work day 

★bonus:  he’s impressed 

[kartsie]

Bruce in the group chat is giving a thumbs down disapprovingly

[starry-bi-sky]

Au where one day Daniel Thomas Fenton, 16 years old, retired ghost vigilante finally decides to tell his parents about the Accident when he was fourteen.

It… doesn’t end well. To say the least. Physically? Danny’s fine. But it blows up into a huge argument that ends with Danny getting disowned. And Danny, sick and tired of the years of neglect and fear and hate that’s radiated his house for years. Well, he just leaves. He doesn’t want to be part of the Fenton Family, he wants nothing to do with it.

He changes his name. Daniel Thomas Fenton to Thomas Nightingale. Before he was born, his parents asked Jazz what she thought her brother’s name would be. Two years old, she said Tommy. So when Danny was born, he was named Daniel Thomas Fenton.

Danny might not wanted to have been connected to the Fenton family, but he still wanted to be connected to his sister. He leaves town, but they keep in contact. And he stays in touch with Sam and Tucker too. They, along with Jazz, helped him change his name.

For the sake of continuity, I’ll keep calling him Danny.

A few months after Danny leaves Amity Park, he catches news from Eli. His little sisterdaughterclone contacting him to let him know that she snuck into Vlad’s to cause some mischief, and discovered that he was at it again.

He’d cloned Danny again. And this time it looked like it might be a successful boy. He was a baby. Danny rushed over to Vlad’s as fast as possible.

It wasn’t hard to break into the lab. Vlad was as cocky as he was stupid, and Danny had long since learned his tricks. The baby was being cared for by the vulture henchmen that Vlad used. Who were about as competent at taking care of a baby as the three fairies were in Maleficent.

Danny stole all information about the clone — how he was made, what Vlad did. Everything.

Turns out, the baby was more Danny’s son than he was a clone. Vlad had somehow rubbed two braincells together hard enough to have an epiphany of some sort. Rather than use Danny’s unstable DNA to make a clone from scratch, he used Danny’s DNA and an unnamed girl his age to make him.

(Safe to say, Danny was seriously creeped out.)

He also, somehow, figured out why Eli came out as Danielle rather than Daniel. It was the same reason that Danny’s suit went from white to black and his hair black to white when he went ghost. It was the ectoplasm’s weird inverting properties. Vlad had tried to make a male clone, but the ectoplasm he used inverted to make a girl. So, he tried the same thing, and instead tried to make a girl. The ectoplasm made the baby girl into a baby boy.

He had also, Danny seriously bet it was unintentional, somehow made the baby completely, utterly human. Well, almost completely human. The little boy was liminal in the same way Jazz was, with the minuscule changes to match. Sharper canines, a small ghostly sense, and eery eyes.

All in all, the baby was useless to Vlad. He didn’t have the powers Vlad wanted. Which Danny bet dollar to dollar was the biggest drawback to the egomaniac.

Well, what one crazed maniac found useless, Danny found he adored. It didn’t take long to dispatch the vultures, and Danny found himself hovering over the baby’s crib, unsure of what to do as the little boy’s bright blue eyes stared up at him with innocent wonder. He didn’t even know to fear strangers yet.

“Hello,” he said softly, and lowered his feet to the floor, changing back from ghost to human. “I’m Thomas.” He’d developed a weariness to his original name after Dan, and after his disownment, disliked it entirely.

The baby latched onto Danny’s finger with a gurgle, and that was it. Close the book, the end. Danny’s heart squeezed itself in his chest, a low coo trapped itself in his throat. And with hands that had never held something so small before, he picked him up.

“I bet he was gonna name you Daniel, wasn’t he?” He asked, trying to remember what the safest way to hold a baby that couldn’t keep its head up was. He cradled the baby to his chest. “He’s crazy. Don’t worry, I’ll take you with me.”

The baby just stared up at him, one chubby hand crushing his shirt. Danny couldn’t help but smile, now he knew why people always got so mushy around babies. There was so much to love about them. “I’ll come up with a better name.” He said, and walked away from the crib — there was probably something in Vlad’s lab that helped the baby. Some kinda diaper bag or something?

As he looked, he wracked his head for names. As well as that, he tried to think about what to do moving forward. The baby wasn’t like Eli, who was independent enough that she traveled the world and did whatever she wanted. He was a baby. Tiny, vulnerable, dependent. And legally, he didn’t exist.

“Why don’t I call you Bruce?” He said aloud, looking back down to the baby. Bruce. He liked the name. Bruce just looked up at him, and then tried to eat his shirt.

Danny didn’t think it was possible to fall in love so fast. “Okay, Bruce it is then.” He was smiling ear to ear. “Hi, Bruce.”

He found a diaper bag soon enough, it was near Bruce’s crib, tucked on it’s side under a chair. Danny slung it over his shoulder, switched forms, and flew out of the mansion

…

First thing to know about taking care of babies; it was hard. Danny flew miles from Vlad’s house, intangible and invisible, before he finally stopped at a gas station. He switched back, and then called Jazz

Who… immediately tore into him for making such a reckless, impulsive choice to go willingly into Vlad’s house

(Eli was a snitch)

(But not a big enough snitch apparently, she left the surprise baby to Danny to talk about)

And after the subsequent tearing into, Danny told her about Bruce

“What are you gonna do with him?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t just *leave* him. He’s so small Jazz.”

“Are you gonna keep him with you little brother?”

“…”

“…Just until I can figure something out.”

“I’ll send you some articles about taking care of babies then.”

Danny undeniably gets attached

He swore he’d figure something out by the end of the week. One week stretched into two. Two stretched to a month. And then a few months. And then Bruce was learning how to crawl, and he was babbling.

And he was just as attached to Danny as Danny was to Bruce.

Danny was all the way northeast by then, finding himself in Gotham. He was seventeen now, almost an adult in the eyes of the law. He was going to stay a week, if even that long, in Gotham.

And then he saved an eccentric elderly couple from being mugged. And by the end of the week he was staying in the elusive Wayne Family Manor as a special guest.

The Waynes were childless. They’d had tried for years to get a son, until eventually they gave up on it. But if you looked at their younger portraits, you’d think Danny was theirs by birth.

Days turned to weeks to months to nearly a year. And then more. Bruce was walking now, and he called Danny ‘daddy’ and he was still just as clingy as he was when he was on bottles.

Danny adored him.

And the Wayne couple were so kind to him. Danny had waited for weeks for the other shoe to drop. Nobody this rich was this kind, at least not anyone that Danny had encountered besides Sam, and Sam’s family were guppies in a pond compared to the behemoths that were the Waynes.

There was no other shoe drop. The Waynes never expected anything from Danny other than he ate well and slept well and that he stay as long as he like. They didn’t force him into attending anything, not their rich people parties or events, nothing. They bought him clothes and let him decorate his room, and spoiled Bruce positively rotten.

Danny quietly, where no one but his thoughts could hear, started to think they were better parents than the ones who gave birth to him. It changed things.

On Danny’s eighteenth birthday, the Waynes gifted him adoption papers. Danny couldn’t have grabbed his pen faster.

Danny Fenton became Thomas Nightingale, and Thomas Nightingale because Thomas and Bruce Nightingale.

Then, finally, Thomas and Bruce Nightingale became Thomas and Bruce Wayne.

[thepyromancerrex]

OK, so like. Hear me out. An AU where Hal Jordan is an undercover FBI agent working at Ferris Air and in the Airforce because they're under suspicion for corruption, so he's deep undercover when he joins/helps found the Justice League, and then batman finds out and is forced to keep the secret and Bruce finds that he doesn't mind the actual Jordan. I have an oc for his real identity and everything lmao. I just need to know If anyone would read it.

UPDATE: I did it :]

[breadandblankets]

here's something no one asked for: bats fallout 4 au

cass: made as an institute courser and the best of the best with a perfect clear record until she was ordered to execute a traitor and she bounced, she drifts for years anywhere and everywhere, eventually ending up in goodneighbor and through Coincidences into the office of one Barbara Gordon

babs: a doctor in goodneighbor specializing in human/machine interface and neurobiology, aka railroad agent oracle she and her partner Dinah run the memory den, part therapeutic establishment part front for synth liberation activities Babs helps deprogram synths and let them lead normal lives

Jason: he was taken into bruce's vault after his parents died, he was born human but turned into a ghoul thanks to a near death experience and a radiation bath, by the time we meet him, he's a drifter blown into goodneighbor hiring out his services as a merc, steadily moving in organized crime through some maneuvering

duke: a psyker (kinda like the forecaster if you played NV), he has the ability to see into the future if he concentrates, however it leaves him with huge migraines, his parents went missing after a raider attack and he joins the minutemen (honestly what is more MM than WAR) to try and find them

steph: both she and her mom are prewar ghouls (all of the cluemaster stuff still happens but he doesn't survive the bombs in jail), they used to live in diamond city until all the ghouls got kicked out, they lived in goodneighbor for a time, with steph working at the local clinic, run by leslie, eventually they both moved north to the slog (a settlement run by ghouls in an old swimming pool) when crystal wanted to get clean, steph works there as basically the town doctor

tim: (spoilers for a ten year old game but:) kinda like synth shaun he is a permanently stuck at the age of like ten, still a tech genius but like.... litol (did I say this just cause I thought it was funny.... yes)

alfred: a fuckin mr handy

bruce: vault dweller that imprinted on said mr handy like a duckling after his parents died

dick: you can literally keep his backstory intact and he makes perfect sense, haley circus is just from new vegas, after his parents murder he joined up with lyons pride and moved east with the brotherhood of steel, when the new elder rose to power after the lyons' death dick started to see the writing on the wall of fascism and jumped ship leaving that life behind, joining up with duke's new and improved MM to protect people from people he swore brotherhood to

damian: obv still bruce and talia's kid, talia is a pre war scientist and businesswoman, keeping herself and her half siblings alive and young as long as they keep their father and his weird artifact locked up. damian grows up in the closest thing to pre war luxury the post apocalypse has to offer. Eventually he wants to go out and see the world, meet his dad, write a guide to wasteland fauna. talia hires jason to guard him so he stops trying to rush down feral ghouls with a sword.

[tisajest]

Reverse Robins AU but the adoption order stays the same

Bruce had been Batman for around 2 decades when he witnessed the Graysons fall. He takes in little 8-year-old Dick Grayson and they become Batman & Robin a couple of months later.

Jason still tried to steal the Batmobile’s tires, but this time Dick is there with Bruce. And Dick immediately goes: friend?! Because who’s cooler than an older boy who has the audacity to steal your dad’s crime-fighting tires? Bruce doesn’t immediately take him in but he does adopt him soon after nonetheless. A year later, Batman gains a new sidekick partner.

Tim still puts together the Bats’ IDs by recognizing Robin’s quadruple somersault. He keeps this info to himself but his father’s death breaks something in him and he becomes reckless and directionless. He’s saved by one of the Bats, maybe little 11 year old Robin, and he just blurts out his name. He tells him how he was at the Graysons’ last show, how he and his parents were such huge fans. Bruce shows up but it’s too late, Dick’s already attached to his new big brother.

This teenager is obviously a threat, he knows their secret identities, but Bruce can see a bit of himself in the lost young man in front of him. He’s around the same age he was when he made the choice that changed his life forever. And having two young boys in his life, two young heroes, he can’t help but want to help Tim. It doesn’t hurt that the kid’s obviously smart and in good shape. A year later, Batman gains another partner.

Damian was never sent to Bruce, he stayed with the League. Eventually, he and Talia killed Ra’s. He becomes Talia’s right-hand but he doesn’t want it. He’s so disinterested in his own life and Talia, for all her flaws, loves her son. She tells him to leave, to “find himself or whatever it is young people do” and so Damian does. He leaves Nanda Parbat at ~18 and travels.

Damian has many skills, but he feels he’s best at killing people, so it doesn’t take long for him to take up contracts. Traveling’s fun and all but he grew restless. He does this for years, he makes a name for himself outside of being an Al’Ghul. And he’s visited Gotham, of course he has, but he doesn’t long for Bruce’s approval. He isn’t a child, he isn’t good person, and he isn’t a Wayne. Bruce means nothing to him, not really he doesn’t think Bruce would ever want him.

So, he keeps an ear out for news regarding the Bats. He visits Gotham every time he learns of a new child but he never allows himself to be noticed. One day, he hears whispers of the Wayne children being in Ethiopia of all places and he can’t help but seek them out. He gets there in time to put the Joker down permanently and prevent any lasting damage to any of them. They’re all taken by this mysterious savior to varying degrees (Tim’s the most cautious), but Dick is especially enthusiastic.

They manage to distract Damian long time enough for Bruce to get there. The long await meeting occurs and Damian decides fuck it, might as well let his father know about him. Bruce has more than enough children to fuss over and he’s an adult with his own life completely separate from Bruce, no need to make a big deal out of it. It is a big deal and Bruce is in shock and infuriated and heartbroken about his very much adult son being kept from him all this time.

As much as Bruce begs, Damian doesn’t go back to Gotham with them. Regardless, he keeps up his occasional visits and stays out of sight. Surprisingly, or maybe not, Dick is the first to find him out. And Dick, amazing human bean that he is, grows on Damian with time and interactions. He’s impressed by this child his father took in and he can’t help but want to teach him a few moves. Bruce wasn’t as oblivious to these meetings as he made himself seem, but he knows Damian isn’t interested in Bruce being his father. He’s hoping he can bridge this gap between them with Dick.

It works.

[necrotic-nephilim]

For the ask game

au where brudick happens but they keep it VERY hidden to the point only cass knows but she thinks everyone does cause to her it's so obvious, so one day on their monthly family dinner that no one misses she ask's them why they have different rooms when they always go to eachother during the night. What do you think would happen? Would they deny deny deny? would they ask her what she's talking about? how does everyone else react to this revelation? do the other heroes find out? do they have opinions about it?

for the ask game!

I LOVE THIS SHIT. truly love Cass noticing things she shouldn't and assuming they're common knowledge, it's my fave flavor. this is such a fun idea-

so Cass knows from like, day one. and obviously she never says anything bc she assumes this is normal. in a way, the weird vibes between Bruce and Dick *are* normalized to the Batfam, everyone sort of. tiptoes around their weirdness (even if they don't know it's romantic) so Cass learns to do the same. she doesn't mention it bc no one mentions Bruce and Dick's bond, it's only ever acknowledged with shared looks. it takes years before she has the courage to ask and i think it's fun if she asks for an utterly mundane reason. like, Alfred makes a teasing remark about washing everyone's bedsheets and what a task that is, and Cass just drops it into conversation that Dick's bed is rarely used because he's always in Bruce's, so that must make it easier to handle.

Dick was try to play it off as a joke. just the mention would make Bruce go silent, for once finally not having a contingency plan on how to handle something. he and Dick were never supposed to happen in the first place, it was so accidental he's never considered the possibility of someone finding out bc they're so careful, though in hindsight, of course he should've known Cass would've figured it out. Dick would awkwardly laugh, try to say something to the effect of "very funny, but we're not *that* close haha" just to break the tension. Cass doesn't give in, though. she's not the best at social cues and doesn't understand the desperate look Dick is giving her, trying to get her to drop it. she pushes on and corrects Dick, insisting she doesn't judge them for it. Bruce would finally snap back into reality and give a more serious denial, quickly changing the conversation before anyone else can press.

the issue is, the minute Cass says it out loud, it becomes *so* obvious. especially to Tim, who has the biggest "oh my GOD" lightbulb moment of his life. there is no unseeing it. it takes him a while to process how he feels about it, the same with everyone else. for a week, there's an obvious tension. no one will say anything, but everyone knows and is trying to sit with it to decide how they feel. it's not a simple situation to feel one way or another about. that's when the questions start. Tim asks Dick questions, Alfred asks Bruce questions. how old was Dick, how did it happen, all the things Dick and Bruce have never wanted to have to answer. bc none of the questions have clean answers. it was a slow and gradual relationship. sure, they can say the first time they slept together, but that doesn't *really* count as the start of things. the start goes back to when Dick was still a teenager, probably underage. even if nothing happened, they both knew. and the way they dance around the questions makes that obvious.

most of the Batfamily i think, would begrudgingly accept it. it's too late to convince Bruce and Dick out of it now, and at the end of the day, Bruce and Dick will always choose each other over anyone else. fighting it just increases the chances of getting ostracized and pushed away by the two of them. feelings vary. i think Alfred would be the least happy about it because he was there when Dick was just a 10 yr old. everyone else only has memory of Dick as an adult, but Alfred watched Dick grow up, raised by Bruce, so he just can't shake that image. Tim sees it as one of those things you just have to accept about Batman, and carefully considers his role as Robin and makes sure he focuses on making sure Dick is happy/safe as well as Bruce. if nothing else, Tim will put his feelings aside to be the Emotional Support Child. Barbara would distance herself from the Batfam for a while just to sit on it, because she also saw Dick as a kid and it sits wrong with her. long talks with Dick convince her to let it go, but she does keep a *much* closer eye on Bruce to be sure this doesn't become a pattern. i think she'd enlist Cass to make sure Bruce never shows romantic/sexual attraction toward other Robins. Steph and Jason are equally apathetic toward it, being the ones who are most negative toward Bruce. they just shrug and go "yeah sounds like some shit Bruce would do". Damian's a bit of a toss-up. i think it'd really throw him for a loop and he'd be far more critical of Dick in the beginning, but once he approves of Dick, he'd *really* latch onto him.

i do think the rest of the hero community would find out. not on purpose, but the leak happens. Babs vents her feelings about it to Dinah, Helena, and Zinda. Tim mutters about it to the Titans. and Jason will tell anyone who asks because he doesn't have a rat's ass to give about Bruce's precious reputation. (if anything, he'd purposefully try to ruin Bruce with that info) the hero community... varies. i think Oliver would be the *most* pissed. Oliver is very similar to Bruce, in that he's taken in his share of strays, but he was objectively a lot better at it than Bruce. it causes a minor public scandal when Oliver drinks too much at some gala and just. publically beats the shit out of Bruce Wayne, incoherently talking about something to do with him being a creep. i could see Oliver rallying support from people like Barry and Arthur who also have young sidekicks and would agree it being fucked up. i don't think Bruce would be entirely ejected from the hero community, but he would be quietly removed as a chair member of the Justice League and have most of his power as a team leader stripped. no matter how much damage control Dick does, insisting he was an adult when anything real happened and he consented, no one can look at Bruce the same. sort of a bittersweet ending, Bruce and Dick are together and no one can take that from them, but there's still realistic reaction and blowback to it, which i personally think is a lot of fun.

[bitterrobin]

CHIROPTERA "mentors" (aka random people Damian hangs out with that aren't Bat-related and gets weird life advice from) in order of the current wip so I can keep track of them:

Bette - learning about Kane history as it connects to the Waynes and more about Bette's perspective on being a vigilante, as well as a family as it pertains to the outsider (an adult who knows what you don't)

Tom - learning about legacy heroes in a different context and meeting Ted, getting into personal arguments over what being a son means when you have no father (an adult who knows you too well)

Violet - a woman burning and a child furious, the meaning of violence and what being a cult weapon aimed at strangers will do to you (an adult who won't hold back)

The Creeper - the musings of a being of chaos and the hysterics of a child unraveled, prowling the nightly streets in search of something (an adult untethered by sentiment)

Rory - a man haunted and child who can't see the ghosts, careful release and grief, facing morality and questioning your "goodness", the sunrise but not the conclusion (an adult who has answers)

Calvin - a brief moment in a diner between a man drifting and a child running, getting advice on attachment and when to stay (an adult who you can't become)

[maemil]

DKoS Bruce being a loyal knight to the family that's sitting on what could so easily be his throne makes me so crazy.

He knew he was a bastard since birth. He was a child to a king and queen but had exactly zero claim to the throne with a best friend who would, upon Bruce's parents' deaths, get to be that prince he never was.

His extreme loyalty and protectiveness of the El's since he was a child, like he's making up for the shame of his birth and serving his kingdom by protecting the best people he knows' spot as its leaders.

A Wayne loyalist tried to put him on the throne when he was 11 and his response was to learn exactly how the El's could be killed, take down the man who wanted them dead, get rid of the only thing that could harm them by any means possible, and swear his undying loyalty to them.

Revealing they are brothers to his oldest friend and getting attempted murdered for it???? Like these people you loved and served for so long only wanted you around as long as you were less than them? As long as you were a loyal servant and not an equal (& a threat)??

It all makes me so insane and I wish the series had been a bit more medieval political drama to focus on it...

[make-way-for-the-homo-superior]

you're trying to tell me that bruce springsteen isn't a lesbian?? sounds fake tbh

[sapphic-storm69]

Personally I’d think it’d be funny asf if Batman has a jersey accent but Bruce didn’t

[bkgbian]

yk i kinda hate wfa. cause i saw someone use one panel to prove their point in canon but it was so ???? like you know they ain't like that right. like hate how they simplify their characters and erase core parts of their personality. and i Know it's an au and etc but aaaaaa

[roobylavender]

i mean most abusers do love the people they abuse. abuse isn’t something done with intention or malice half the time, it’s done by people thinking they’re doing the right thing. bruce’s love and need for control are constantly in conflict with each other and that’s why the robins are stuck waging a war against him. i feel like a big part of a dysfunctional parent-child dynamic is feeling trapped by your parent’s love. Even if you hate it, it’s still canon that Bruce has been historically bad with dealing with his kids. Half of them don’t even feel comfortable calling him dad cuz the relationship seems so undefined or shaky. In Dick’s case i feel like he has no grounds to oppose robin and his vigilantism because Bruce (deep down) loved having someone like dick around to fight crime with. They both refer that time as “the good old days” so it’s not like Bruce was truly opposed. It’s only when the actual reality of that negligent and naive behaviour materialises that he realises he fucked up (robin year one eg). Then he treats Dick in such a cold manner that Dick believes if he’s not robin, he’s not wanted. This has been a pattern since the golden days so no it’s not ooc for Bruce. Yes the natural conclusion to all the modern day tension should be for both parties to meet and resolve their issues but Bruce is still the abuser at the end of the day, and even though Dick’s self sacrificing nature might easily forgive him, on a textual level it should be clear that a true resolution between the two would need Dick to dig deeper, and for Bruce to be ready for rejection from his son.

i don’t disagree with that assessment of abuse like it’s absolutely true, but my problem is i don’t think the cold or controlling behavior is really a consistent enough pattern until we move into post-crisis canon. for several decades dick and bruce have a great rapport with each other bc that’s what everyone knows they’re supposed to have. like i don’t think most writers from the golden or silver age if asked that they intended to write bruce as an abuser would agree and say yes, and that distinction to me is impt, bc sure, we can take what we’re reading on a surface level and project our own experience or modern understanding of relationships onto it, but i don’t think that should happen to the extent authorial intent is superseded bc then you start to enter territory where you’re divorcing narrative from genre conventions. if we go by the assumption that bruce is an enabler and abuser for allowing dick to be a hero for so long without purported attention paid to his safety then that establishes practically every hero within the universe possessive of a sidekick as an abuser. and i do get that some people are interested in following that thread like esp in post-crisis we see that exploration a lot but ig for me personally it’s kinda like the thing that breaks the camel’s back and withholds the entire genre from actually allowing itself to explore more pertinent issues. not to say abuse isn’t a pertinent issue, it absolutely is and i do think there’s ways it can still be explored, but the primary reason the genre was established in the first place was in response to fascism. obv the engagement with that wasn’t necessarily complex early on but it’s incredibly impt to the development of the genre and as we can see in a modern context how that response to fascism or lack thereof is conveyed can be incredibly influential in terms of facilitating support or not for fascist government. so my issue is like, yes, it’s impt for bruce’s faults in these relationships to be addressed to a constructive and worthwhile extent, but i also think writers have gone so drastically far in curating those faults in the post crisis era that it’s effectively restricted the scope of the stories they’re allowed to tell, bc they’re more focused on individual instances and relationships within this world than they are on any form of commentary that reflects the operations of the world at large in relation to regulation of crime

[banghwa]

batman mention i thought of you :3

https://twitter.com/discussingfilm/status/1759969694222586079?s=46&t=Lmh1Yul7R_wEjrlPTrArtg

INTO THE SPIDERVERSE PRODUCER???? that would be so so crazy oh my god rly do hope this gets greenlit actually

[acid-ixx]

lovefool by the cardigans

— series concept ft. soft yandere dc! x bimbo/himbo reader

soft yandere! dc characters x himbo/bimbo/careless reader... who's just a bundle of joy to be with... where all the villains have an agreement to never mess with you, hell even kidnap you occasionally from the arms of the heroes just to hear you rant endlessly about your 'mundane' life as if you weren't just abducted... where the heroes would quite frankly sometimes have to put you in some sort of human leash because you wouldn't literally panic if there's a gun pointed against you...

the urge to make a shitpost/romcom series just because i listened to lovefool by the cardigans... no idea of platonic/romantic but i'm just moving on with the flow... a bit more on the romantic side ig...

i'm going feral at the thought of a wild goose chase with you, because one second you're bundled up in the arms of the justice league, each one of them scheduled to strictly watch over you, another is stationed near the door as they'd be the one to get you anything you want or need— then suddenly you're at a villain's lair that houses all the bad guys and then oops! you accidentally inhaled the scarecrow's fear gas but you're not reacting?! is your mind filled with air...? all your response was a quirk of your eyebrows and a question that's just "is there any signal here? the league told me to call me if i'm in any trouble...?" which then you would quickly take back and instead would smile at them like some goons didn't just threaten you with a knife to your neck just because you screamed, calling the scarecrow's mask a sack of moving, possessed potatoes.

originally, most villains would whisk you away from the arms of your vigilante babysitters but then they discover you're just a bundle of joy who laughs at the shittiest joke anyone could make, who snorts at their 'funny' antics and words, who grins when they take pictures of you to use as bait that you're being held hostage. it kind of goes to the point that their original plans all go to waste and they decide to just, take you all for themselves. they don't even know how you were able to survive being thrown around carelessly by the shoulders of big, muscular men, but they're more jealous at the image of you giggling and running your hands through muscles arms and toned abs; so they took it in themself to be the ones to guide you through your now makeshift room, hoping you would fawn over them with those cute stars in your eyes...

and if you were taken back into the arms of the vigilantes? oh god, the heroes can't even scold you because you'd be already hugging the next person in the room, babbling endlessly about your adventures with the villains and ignoring their seething envy with just how much you brag about how some are "too hot to be evil! i think i can change them!" because why are you talking about some randoms who just kidnapped you for their own gain when you have them right there? no way are you now getting out of their sights, them trying so hard to even distract you from going outside because "it's just too dangerous to be out there, boo! you're safe with us."

and you just nod your head with that toothy grin of your! are you seriously unaware of how much the richest of the rich are willing to pay for just an hour of your already shining presence? hell, you're just too... out of it, to the point you'll be the one who discovers their secret identities just by accidentally noticing details that nobody with functioning thoughts would even think about.

"batman! you must be bruce wayne, right?" you randomly approach him one day, with a foot tapping the floor impatiently. you stare at him like you had made a scientific discovery.

"... how do you know...?"

"'cause you're both hot and rich and whenever i get a feel of mr. wayne's abs, they're the same size as yours—!" and you continue to guess his children's identities all correctly with a quip of how hot they are or how you wish one you were fit and toned enough to have honkers as big as them...

... that night, you're spending it in the batcave with bruce and his children trying their damn best to brainwash you into keeping their identities a secret, to which you reply with a nod and an airheaded smile. but then the moment they remove you from the straps constricting you in a comfy bed, you'll be running off to alfred, ranting about how you can't believe that you guessed their personas right and if he knew it all along too...

huh, guess that's what makes you all the more charming.

a/n: please do comment or send in asks if you're interested in this as much as i am... i wrote this in quick succession and altho i am planning to make this series a shitpost one or a lighthearted romcom one, i rlly want to amp the yandere-ness hehe. it was fun writing this albeit it being written in about 10 minutes or less. ignore the header ill change it soon 🫦